Friendship got Fried

How much does your friendship cost you? What’s the most important noble value of a friendship? All questions about friendship sometimes bother me somehow. It is just friendship is like love. You can’t discuss it, you can’t count it, you just need to live on it.

There was a game when I was in secondary school. Fell yourself on your back with your friend standing next your behind and ordered to catch you. If you don’t trust your friend and your friend is indeed can’t be trusted, you will get your ass hit the floor and get injured. While if you trust your friend what ever kind of kid he/she is, your back will land first and chance for you to be okay is bigger. I did it many times with my friends and so far my friends always catch me.

Then something happen nearly my graduation. I was in fight with my best friend. There was only one best friend for me. I am not sure what we are fighting about but I knew at that time, that if we can’t survive this fight then we will never gonna be okay again. Then so be it. We didn’t survive the fight. She probably got tired of me and she completely mad at me. Maybe until today she’s still mad at me and she has plenty of reasons to do so.

In collage, everything is new for me, everything! I live my life without anyone to be said as a best friend. It is just I don’t want to name anyone as my best friend anymore and having chance to have that kind of fight again then got split up again. The consequences I gotta face is not being stated as anyone’s best friend either.

To be honest, I never invite someone to play that game anymore and if somebody ever ask me to play that “catch your friend” game I’d prefer not to play it. But if he/she insist, the only reason I am willing to make the fall is just to get over the game, not because I trust that he/she will catch me. Since loosing that best friend of mine, I don’t really think what people think of me again. I simply just do the best I could do and think about my future. Sometimes I am afraid that I am really not going to have new best friend, but anytime I have that feeling, there is a little soul of mine whisper: you’re gonna be okay.